Monday, October 17, 2011

Freedom………Yeah Right


You’re essentially a slave. I don’t know what you’re a slave to, maybe its money, maybe its crack, maybe its sex with underage boys. I don’t know. What I do know that every single person who will ever read this post is a slave to something.

I’m a slave to lots of different things. I think My biggest master is fucking off. I’m a slave to making myself a nuisance and just being a general waste of space. I’m a slave to loose woman, which may or may not make me a bit of a slut. Can I guy be a slut? Probably, and I should be the poster boy for male sluttiness.

Bob Dylan is a Smart Man


I make jokes a lot of the time, I’m funny or at least I think I’m funny. Sometimes I go overboard in my joke making endeavors. I’m sure not everybody wants to hear about how I fucked their mom  last night. So I’m sorry for that, its not gonna change but I do feel sorta badly about it.

Jesus Christ Bob Dylan once said that “The Times They Are a Changing” Which you would know had you taken five minutes and watched the video at the beginning of this post. I have a lot of favorite songs, but this song may in fact be the greatest song ever written. Dylan was a genius. I’m not gonna expand on his genius because obviously real authors have written books about it.

Friends The Times They Are A Changing. Nothing is as it was 10 years ago. The social structure of our lives has changed. We don’t have face to face meetings with friends for coffee anymore. We Skype with them, or Facebook them. Email is the preferred communication tool amongst business’s. In 20 years will our children know what another human beings face looks like? Will we all be locked away in an e-panic room?

I hope not, as much as I like technology,. I love the human race even more. Facebook has taught me one thing, and only one thing of significant importance. People are fucking stupid and will buy almost any piece of bullshit you try and sell them. And you can have a lot of fun doing it. I spent about 6 hours on Facebook last night, essentially ruining some dumb chicks night, and it felt great. I was aided in my quest by a few people who are as cynical, sarcastic and derogatory as I am, which always helps.

The point of this post, well fuck it there isn’t any point, I just wanted to be semi-serious for a hot second. Prove to the world that I’m capable of doing it. Now back to your regularly scheduled fucking off. 

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I Would Blow You For……

One dollar. Take it or leave it. I’m a college grad ftr. You should know this. I’m not sure why you should know this, but you should. I’m a poor, broke, and unemployed college graduate whose only ambition is to bang yer mom.


Yeah I want to tell every single one of my friends and family (whoa is that weird ) that I fucked their mom.

I failed to mention in the last post

That I am to be included in my salute to the asshole spouses of the world. I am an asshole to someone I love very much. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not. I’m good to her when we’re together but I’m a dick when we’re apart. So HERE’S TO ME!!!!!!!!


For All the Asshole Spouses in the World Today


I salute you


So thank you for your kindness. I appreciate it.

I’ve never understood people who hunt


Don’t they know you can buy meat in a store? Why in the fuck would I spend a couple of hours sitting QUIETLY in the woods, when I can hop in a car, drive to Wal-Mart and buy some meat. I would rather sit in front of a HD TV, or my laptop and waste time that way. I’m just saying…..